


that text was wild

by hobi_hope



Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pining, Texting, There's a plot I swear, chat au, texting au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-03-03 18:26:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13346946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hobi_hope/pseuds/hobi_hope
Summary: Jeon Jungkook and Kim Yugyeom, the "friends" who totally "aren't pining for each other".Because they're too oblivious to notice each other's feelings, both friend groups plot to finally get the two together in a mess of texts, undercover sleuthing, and screaming,





	1. stolen food

**Author's Note:**

> this is a self indulgent fic, mainly bc i love yugkook and texting fics. because this fic has 2 groups, chapters will alternate between each one, eventually they'll become intertwined in hopes of getting yugkook together (along with some other side ships ;) ) the only established ships as of now are jjp and namjin
> 
> actualmom: jinyoung  
> actualdad: jaebum  
> thiccthighs: jackson  
> americanboi: mark  
> purestbab: youngjae  
> memekingbambam: bambam  
> 75%legg: yugyeom

**[actualmom added actualdad, americanboi, thiccthighs, purestbab, memekingbambam, and 75%legg in a groupchat]**

**[actualmom named the gropchat "you fuckers (not youngjae)"]**

 

actualmom: ok which one of you fuckers went to jaebum and i’s dorm and took the majority of the food

 

actualmom: when neither of us were there

 

americanboi: r u really askin that

 

americanboi: isnt it obvious

 

actualmom: funny you say that, mark, because i remember you came over to “hang” when all you did was eat and then take some of our food back to your dorm

 

memekingbambam: oo #roasted

 

actualmom: shut the fuck up bam you’re no better

 

actualmom: you’re one of my suspects

 

memekingbambam: who r ur suspects???

 

actualmom: everyone but me, jaebum, and youngjae

 

memekingbambam: why is youngjae included????

 

actualmom: are you seriously asking that question

 

memekingbambam: ur right srry youngjae

 

thiccthighs: when did this happen

 

thiccthighs: ur food missing btw

 

actualmom: just came home and found it missing, so i would say today

 

75%legg: cant be me!!! i wasn’t home at all 

 

actualmom: oh yeah? tell me today’s schedule

 

75%legg: woke up, ate the last bagel, went to class, had lunch with youngjae, and im at jungkook’s playing overwatch rn

 

75%legg: i went straight to jungkookie’s dorm too

 

75%legg: ask youngjae he basically walked me there

 

thiccthighs: walked u there? why couldnt jungkook pick u up?

 

75%legg: bc youngjae said his next place was on the way so he might as well walk with me

 

actualmom: youngjae is this true?

 

purestbab: yea!! i got to see jungkook a lil bit :) 

 

purestbab: jungkook looked rlly happy to see yugyeom eheheh

 

75%legg: youngjae

 

memekingbambam: OOH I LOVE THIS TEA

 

americanboi: gross

 

actualdad: that’s gay

 

75%legg: stop i dont like him and he doesnt like me!!

 

thiccthighs: jaebum hyung u cant say that ur hella gay

 

actualdad: wdym

 

thiccthighs: ur,,, in a romantic relationship,,,,, wit a man,,,,, and ur a man,,,, that’s gay

 

actualdad: you got a point

 

actualmom: ok but shut the fuck up about yugyeom we can talk about this later

 

actualmom: there is. food missing. from my dorm. i am not about to go grocery shopping because you’re all physically inept to take care of yourself

 

americanboi: o shit he used inept we bringin out the big words now

 

memekingbambam: um me n yugs can take care of ourselves!!

 

actualmom: the only reason you two aren’t dead is because you have youngjae rooming with you

 

actualmom: and youngjae can actually take care of himself and others

 

purestbab: (◕◡◕✿)

 

thiccthighs: what ab me jinyoung hyung

 

actualmom: you have mark

 

actualmom: but even then you’re barely getting by

 

thiccthighs: :( 

 

actualmom: you know if the culprit doesn’t reveal themselves i’ll kick all of your asses

 

actualmom: even yugyeom’s and i don’t even think he took the food

 

actualmom: too busy making out with jungkook

 

memekingbambam: FHJERTGBTJRNFE

 

thiccthighs: frkjherbyOURENOT WRONG

 

americanboi: once again, gross

 

75%legg: hey!!!

 

75%legg: beating my ass AND accusing me of smth!!!

 

75%legg: not cool!!

 

memekingbambam: haha suck it yugs

 

memekingbambam: we all know how ur thristing after jungkook

 

75%legg: bambam u fucker

 

memekingbambam: cant tell lies

 

memekingbambam: gotta spread the truth

 

75%legg: well i guess i gotta spread the truth too

 

memekingbambam: wait

 

75%legg: jinyoung

 

memekingbambam: yugyeom dont you dare

 

actualmom: what

 

memekingbamba: nO

 

memekingbambam: DONTYU FUCKIN GDA RE

 

75%legg: bam stole all ur food and split it with jackson

 

thiccthighs: yugyeom what the fuck??????????

 

americanboi: oh how the tables have turned

 

actualdad: you know, i’m not surprised

 

actualmom: i’m not either

 

actualmom: jackson. bambam

 

actualmom: i hope you like getting your asses beat :)

 

memekingbambam: mom pls no

 

actualmom: :) :) :)

 

actualdad: just saying, jinyoung just left the dorm

 

actualdad: so i suggest you run and hide


	2. oh no not tae's mattress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now here's the bangtan bois
> 
> 40cmshoulders: seokjin  
> alberteinstien: namjoon  
> no: yoongi  
> sun: hoseok  
> teatea: tae  
> chimmychimchim: jimin  
> musclebunny: jungkook

**[group of gays]**

 

teatea: did anyone else see jinyoung hyung chase after jackson and bambam with a giant stick?

 

chimmychimchim: ofc

 

chimmychimchim: it’s on my snapchat

 

chimmychimchim: i even got him beating them with it

 

teatea: i watched it and it was hilarious

 

alberteinstein: a stick???

 

alberteinstein: where did he get it????

 

teatea: theres something called trees hyung

 

alberteinstein: that stick is nearly half the size of jinyoung’s body 

 

alberteinstein: not to mention that stick is pretty thick

 

teatea: thick ;)

 

alberteinstein: no

 

no: holy shit that stick is huge

 

no: i’m somewhat concerned???

 

sun: h oly shit

 

sun: thats fucking hilarious 

 

sun: like im concerned too but i cant stop watching it

 

60cmshoulders: i hope theyre ok

 

musclebunny: yugyeom says they deserve it

 

teatea: yugyeom??? 

 

teatea: _*eye emoji*_

 

musclebunny: yea we’re playing overwatch

 

chimmychimchim: yea i kno u guys keep yelling

 

chimmychimchim: really regret u buying that

 

sun: why does jackson and bambam deserve getting beat by a huge stick?

 

musclebunny: yugyeom says they stole a lot of jinyoung hyung and jaebum hyung’s food from their dorm

 

musclebunny: he’s showing me the texts and theyre fucking hilarious

 

albereinstien: i messaged jackson

 

40cmshoulders: what did he say?

 

alberteinstien: a lot of keyboard smashing and how his own mother doesn’t love him

 

alberteinstien: and how much it hurts, of course

 

sun: their group is so wild

 

sun: like yugyeom tells me about their stories during dance practice

 

sun: and i always think he’s exaggerating 

 

sun: but then stuff like this happens and i believe him

 

musclebunny: why wouldnt you believe yugyeom

 

teatea: quiet we know ur gay

 

40cmshoulders: no wait he’s right

 

40cmshoulders: theyre an extreme group of friends

 

alberteinstien: yeah jackson tells me how obvious it is that they choose favorites

 

chimmychimchim: i mean parents always choose favorites

 

alberteinstien: no it’s all of them

 

alberteinstien: once they all had classes except youngjae

 

alberteinstien: and he didn’t know and invited them to coco’s bday party

 

albertainstien: but when they said they couldn’t come he got kinda sad

 

alberteinstien: and they immediately skipped class, went and bought their own gifts and party supplies

 

alberteinstien: in the matter of five minutes

 

chimmychimchim: how sad was youngjae

 

chimmychimchim: how many sad faces did he use

 

alberteinstien: i think he said “oh :( it’s ok though go to your classes”

 

chimmychimchim: bitch the fuck

 

chimmychimchim: i can use all the sad faces in the world and none of yall would skip class for me

 

chimmychimchim: and all youngjae uses is one sad face and tells them to go to class

 

chimmychimchim: smh

 

teatea: damn theyre whipped

 

musclebunny: yugyeom said their groupchat is named you fuckers (not youngjae)

 

teatea: ours is just called group of gays

 

teatea: not very fun

 

40cmshoulders: but is it wrong?

 

teatea: no

 

chimmychimchim: no

 

alberteinstien: no

 

sun: no

 

no: no

 

musclebunny: yea im not gay

 

40cmshoulders: shut the fuck up jungkook we all know ur super gay for yugyeom

 

musclebunny: im not

 

sun: shut the fuck up b4 i tell jb

 

musclebunny: ?

 

sun: have u seen that man

 

sun: terrifying

 

chimmychimchim: have u seen jinyoung?

 

chimmychimchim: terrifying

 

teatea: y r their parents scary

 

teatea: but not ours

 

alberteinstien: excuse me

 

teatea: ur way too soft hyung

 

40cmshoulders: excuse me

 

teatea: ur hardly scary

 

40cmshoulders: :) hey :) tae :) remember :) that :) one :) time :)

 

teatea: what

 

teatea: OH

 

teatea: ohg od pa le se st op

 

chimmychimchim: ?

 

40cmshoulders: he walked into me n joon fucking while i was the dom :^)

 

teatea: u weRE GUCKING ON MY B E D

 

no: “gucking”

 

chimmychimchim: wait what the fuck

 

sun: jesus

 

no: i didnt need to know this thanks

 

teatea: i waS TRAUMATIZED 

 

alberteinstien: seokjin wtf

 

40cmshoulders: i was so intimidating you dont even want to k n o w

 

chimmychimchim: pls,, mother,,, stop

 

alberteinstien: that was good sex though

 

40cmshoulders: you dont even wanna see namjoon bein the dom

 

40cmshoulders: makes me nut then and there

 

alberteinstien: jin why

 

teatea: JUST STOP I HAD TO BUY A WHOLE NEW MATTRESS 

 

40cmshoulders: that sounds like a you problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ch was eh to me :/ too late now tbh   
> idk if u want but hit me up on my twt: _hobihope_  
> also can i just say editing this to add html is so annoying


	3. accept my memes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this entire chap is a meme 10 points everytime you get the reference (there's 3)

**[you fuckers (not youngjae)]**

 

americanboi: do u kno da wae

 

memekingbambam: do u know da wae

 

75%legg: do u know da wae

 

thiccthighs: do u kno da wae

 

purestbab: do u kno da wae

 

actualdad: what?

 

americanboi: bruddah

 

memekingbambam: do u kno da wae

 

actualdad: i thought i was your dad?

 

actualmom: what kind of satanic ritual

 

75%legg: do u kno da wae

 

actualmom: ??no??

 

thiccthighs: he doesn’t kno da wae

 

purestbab: do u kno da wae

 

actualmom: i can’t believe i conceived 5 idiot children

 

purestbab: :(

 

actualmom: sorry 4 idiot children 

 

purestbab: :)

***  


memekingbambam: whos down to hang

 

americanboi: y arent u askin yugyeom

 

memekingbambam: i did but he didnt answer

 

memekingbambam: so who wants to be my new best friend

 

memekingbambam: need someone who wont leave me for their bf

 

75%legg: i was in class u fuck

 

75%legg: and im single u know that

 

memekingbambam: r u?

 

americanboi: im down 

 

memekingbambam: wassup best friend

 

75%legg: bullshit we all know mark’s whipped for Jackson

 

thiccthighs: what?

 

**[americanboi to 75%legg]**

americanboi: u better take that back or else ill saw off ur long ass legs and shove both of them up ur ass

 

75%legg: holy shit

 

**[you fuckers (not youngjae)]**

 

75%legg: i mean who wouldnt with those thighs

 

thiccthighs: ;)

 

actualmom: can yall stop talking for 5 sec i need to study

 

americanboi: for what

 

actualmom: finals

 

americanboi: theyre not for another 6 months?

 

actualmom: never too early to start stressing

 

americanboi: this reminds me of my time back in america,,,, ah nostalgia

 

purestbab: arent you going back soon?

 

americanboi: in like, 1 and a half months

 

actualdad: why?

 

americanboi: sister’s getting married

 

purestbab: congrats!!

 

actualdad: tell her i said congratulations 

 

actualmom: send pics

 

americanboi: yea yea i got u

 

americanboi: ill miss coco 

 

americanboi: wipes tear from eye

 

purestbab: coco will miss you too!!

 

thiccthighs: what ab me mark?

 

americanboi: yeah u too

***  


75%legg: bam did u really mean it when u said mark was ur best friend

 

memekingbambam: well lets see

 

memekingbambam: can we hang

 

75%legg: oh,,,,,,,,

 

75%legg: im,,, busy rn

 

memekingbambam: wow

 

memekingbambam: jackson come here

 

thiccthighs: what

 

memekingbambam: ur my new best friend 

 

thiccthighs: aw yea lets go vandalize shit

 

memekingbambam: hell y e ah

 

actualmom: don’t do that you little shits

 

75%legg: im at the dance studio!!!

 

memekingbambam: practice already ended dont try to lie to me 

 

memekingbambam: thought i meant m o r e to you

 

75%legg: me n jungkookie are staying back a little to practice more

 

memekingbambam: i cant believe u

 

memekingbambam: what happened to bros b4 hoes

 

75%legg: dont call jungkookie a ho

 

memekingbambam: o m g

 

memekingbambam: backstabbed by my own friend

 

memekingbambam: i cannot believe this

 

thiccthighs: dont worry bam bros b4 hoes

 

memekingbambam: hell yeah

 

75%legg: im coming home rn

 

memekingbambam: wait no if u really do need to stay u can stay im kidding

 

memekingbambam: ur my best friend u know that

 

75%legg: no we just finished

 

memekingbambam: o chillin

 

75%legg: can i come vandalize shit too?

 

memekingbambam: hell to the motherfuckin y e a h

 

thiccthighs: i have like 5 spray paint cans lets go

 

actualmom: do n o t or i will personally beat all of your asses

***  


memekingbambam: mom can u get me tide pods

 

actualmom: …why

 

memekingbambam: i need the forbidden snacc 

 

actualmom: no

***  


thiccthighs: jaebum hyung

 

actualdad: what

 

thiccthighs: can u get me tide pods

 

actualdad: judging by the previous texts… no

***  


75%legg: jinyoung get me tide pods

 

actualmom: fuck off you long legged bitch

 

75%legg: ok jesus

***

**americanboi: jaebum can u stop by the store and get me tide pods?**

****

 

actualdad: ……why

 

americanboi: what else

 

actualdad: sorry hyung…. i don’t trust you

 

americanboi: wow

 

actualmom: none of you are eating tide pods what the fuck

 

actualmom: not on my watch

 

memekingbambam: slams hand on table

 

memekinbambam: nOT ON MY WATCH

 

75%legg: slams hand on table

 

75%legg: nOT ON MY WATCH

 

memekingbambam: ayyyyyy

 

75%legg: ayyyyyyy

 

actualmom: pls die in a hole thnx

***  


purestbab: jinyoung hyung? jaebum hyung?

 

actualdad: yes dear?

 

actualmom: do you need anything honey?

 

purestbab: can you get me tide pods? i need them for laundry :S

 

actualdad: im stopping by the store soon, ill get you some

 

actualmom: anything else you need?

 

purestbab: some treats for coco? :S

 

actualdad: got it

 

memekingbambam: HELL YEA YOUNGJAE GET US THOSE FORBIDDEN SNACCS

 

75%legg: WE EATIN G O O D TONIGHT

 

thiccthighs: MARK HYUNG WENEED TO GO TO THEIR DORM

 

americanboi: got it

 

actualmom: for fucks sake

 

actualdad: …sorry youngjae nevermind

 

purestbab: it’s ok

 

purestbab: just get the treats thats the most important!!

 

actualdad: ok

 

memekingbambam: i hate this family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did yall get the references? heres the answers  
> -do u kno da wae (uganda knuckles)  
> -tide pods (forbidden snacks)  
> -not on my watch (this vine where a woman slams her hand on the table and say NOT ON MY WATCH  
> got7 is def gonna be my meme group meme7 am i right  
> also i have a lot to say?? strap in kiddos  
> the tide pod thing is my favorite meme of ALL time i love it so much but don't actually eat tide pods you'll die DONT EAT TIDE PODS  
> and the finals thing is bc i have finals next week,,,,, watch me have a panic attack and break down in the middle of it lmao  
> i also dont have a updating schedule? i update everytime i have the next chapter written too so dont think this is the schedule for now,,,,,  
> hit me up on my twt: _Hobihope_


	4. hey check out my new religion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is that yoonseok i see ;)  
> idk if anyone needs it, but for clarification, 2seok room together, namgi room together, and the maeknae line rooms together

**[group of gays]**

 

 

chimmychimchim: ah pure silence 

 

chimmychimchim: no yelling

 

chimmychimchim: thank god jungkook aint home

 

muslcebunny: hyung wdym im walking home rn

 

teatea: god why

 

teatea: make ur date longer im tired of hearing u scream as i study

 

no: if you hate his overwatch playing so much why did you all room together

 

chimmychimchim: this was before his overwatch madness

 

alberteinstien: yoongi is my bag at the dorm?

 

no: no

 

alberteinstien: i’ll check seokjin’s then

 

sun: we’re baking cookies!

 

chimmychimchim: can i have some??

 

teatea: go bring a bunch home for us minnie 

 

no: cookies are lowkey too much for me

 

sun: yoongi do you want some?

 

sun: oh opps i sent that right after you said they were too much, sorry!

 

no: no i’ll take some

 

chimmchimchim: what kind are they?

 

sun: double chocolate! seokjin hyung was in the mood to make them

 

no: why double choclate

 

40cmshoulders: shut up loser

 

no: ok then

 

***

 

sun: anyone listen to yoongi’s new song yet? it’s such a bop!!

 

chimmychimchim: not yet lol but ill check it out rn

 

no: it’s not that good

 

sun: yeah it is! i really wanna make a dance cover of it now…

 

no: oh

 

***

 

muslcebunny: jimin hyung

 

chimmychimchim: im literally in the room next to yours

 

musclebunny: yeah but youll get mad if i tell it to your face

 

musclebunny: and im in this gc for eye witness

 

chimmychimchim: just tell me

 

musclebunny: im inviting yugyeom over to do a project and play overwatch later

 

chimmychimchim: i swear to god im going to beat your ass

 

no: do you really think you can beat Jungkook he’s buff

 

chimmychimchim: u right

 

musclebunny: thank god

 

teatea: why is yugyeom always around anyways

 

musclebunny: hes my best friend?

 

teatea: last time i recalled, bambam is yugyeoms best friend

 

teatea: they even call each other best friend sometimes like those dumb instagram videos

 

40cmshoulders: yea but it’s ok if they do it

 

teatea: yeah

 

musclebunny: oh…

 

40cmshoulders: dont worry Jungkook im sure yugyeom sees you like a best friend

 

40cmshoulders: maybe even more

 

musclebunny: what?

 

alberteinstien: yoongi hyung im coming home with cookies

 

no: i dont want cookies?

 

albereinstien: they’re hoseok’s

 

no: nvm give them to me

 

musclebunny: oh 

 

40cmshoulders: what if i made them would you want them

 

no: see my user

 

40cmshoulders: u ungrateful bitch if i make u some u better eat them

 

no: alrighty then

 

***  


 

sun: i have some tea

 

teatea: TEA???

 

sun: jungkook and yugyeom couldnt stop making heart eyes at each other during dance practice

 

musclebunny: um???? stop spreading lies hyung????

 

teatea: i LOVE this tea

 

40cmshoulders: thats so gay

 

sun: how about when yugyeom literally said 3 words to u and u laughed as if it was the funnies shit u’ve ever heard

 

musclebunny: it was an inside joke hyung you wouldnt understand

 

sun: mmhmm

 

teatea: can i come to observe this gay

 

musclebunny: no

 

sun: if you dont cause a disturbance

 

teatea: YAY

 

musclebunny: goddammit hyung

 

sun: im the captain not u 

 

chimmychimchim: yoongi hyung’s song is such a bop

 

sun: i KNOW right???

 

***

 

alberteinstien: why are we on this earth

 

alberteinstien: was it pure coincidence that the earth was placed in the perfect position for life to grow

 

alberteinstien: or did life adapt?

 

alberteinstien: what’s the point of living if we die?

 

albertinstien: what happens when you die? your conscience, does it disappear?

 

alberteinstien: is death just a void of darkness? or is it unable to be described by words?

 

teatea: ill answer all ur questions, kim questioning-his-own-existence-at-3-am namjoon 

 

teatea: 1. to see yugkook

 

teatea: 2. life was like “shit we gotta witness yugkook do everything we can to make that happen”

 

teatea: 3. the point of living is to witness yugkook in order to die happily and fulfilled

 

teatea: 4. u replay every yugkook moment

 

teatea: 5. death is knowing yugkook is alive and well

 

musclebunny: …why..?

 

alberteinstien: what if you die before yugkook?

 

teatea: u come back as an animal or person in order to witness yugkook

 

alberteinstien: what if you’re on the other side of the world and you don’t witness yugkook?

 

teatea: you just Know

 

alberteinstien: hehe

 

alberteinstien: thanks tae

 

teatea: no prob hyung

 

teatea: night

 

alberteinstien: night

 

***

 

40cmshoulders: i just woke up and read the messages and now im crying

 

40cmshouders: this is so sweet

 

no: is yugkook your religion

 

teatea: yes

 

no: who’s part of this religion

 

teatea: jimin

 

chimmychimchim: *plankton voice* CORRECT!

 

sun: im interested

 

teatea: good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate being sick but anyways join my religion! it's yugkook :)  
> also idk if i should make vmin in this fic,,, hm...  
> catch me on twt even tho i only retweet shit: _Hobihope_


	5. bam gets sick (of yugkook being oblivious)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was actually sick when i wrote this opPS

**[you fuckers (not youngjae)]**

 

 

75%legg: u guys

 

75%legg: taehyung was in dance practice today

 

thiccthighs: he dances?

 

75%legg: no

 

75%legg: thats y i was confusion

 

memekingbambam: what was he doing?

 

75%legg: idk, just in the back?

 

75%legg: just watching i guess

 

75%legg: and typing things out too

 

memekingbambam: hm….

 

memekingbambam: anyone have his number?

 

actualmom: i do

 

memekingbambam: why you?

 

actualmom: he acts as well

 

memekingbambam: o yea

 

memekingbambam: can u give me his number?

 

actualmom: why

 

memekingbambam: no reason

 

 

**[actualmom to memekingbambam]**

 

 

actualmom: dont do anything stupid

 

actualmom: xxx-xxx-xxxx

 

memekingbambam: thnx mom

 

 

**[memekingbambam to unknown]**

 

 

memekingbambam: waddup it’s yo boi bambam hit me up with the yugyeom and jungkook goods

 

unknown: it’s called yugkook u uncultured swine

 

 

**[you fuckers (not youngjae)] ******

 

 

purestbab: guys 

 

purestbab: wheres coco 

 

thiccthighs: isnt she with u? 

 

purestbab: no??????????? 

 

actualmom: stay calm, youngjae 

 

purestbab: wheres coco????????????? 

 

memekingbambam: did u open the door? 

 

purestbab: no i just got home!!!!! 

 

purestbab: bam, yugyeom, did you see coco at all????? 

 

memekingbambam: only this morning 

 

75%legg: im just finished classes 

 

actualdad: whats going on 

 

purestbab: ????????!!!!??DSDfvhnbgvfdc??????? 

 

purestbab: *audio recording* 

 

thiccthighs: youngjae thats just u screaming 

 

purestbab: WHERESCOCO??????????????????????????????????? 

 

purestbab: WHERESMY B A BY????????? 

 

memekingbambam: operation find coco! 

actualmom: jackson, is mark with you? 

 

thiccthighs: no im at the gym 

 

purestbab: MARK 

 

purestbab: WHERES COCO 

 

americanboi: what 

 

purestbab: COCOs 

 

americanboi: what ab her 

 

purestbab: WHERE IS SHE 

 

americanboi: oh lol 

 

americanboi: with me 

 

purestbab: WDFGJSDJDJNJHEVJHF 

 

actualmom: goddammit mark 

 

memekingbambam: why do you have her? 

 

memekingbambam: and how 

 

americanboi: used ur key duh 

 

americanboi: and i wanted to see her duh 

 

purestbab: EDFEDSHJTYR 

 

75%legg: how did you even get our key?? 

 

purestbab: i hate you mark 

 

memekingbambam: !!!!! 

 

memekingbambam: oh shit 

 

americanboi: im sorry youngjae! i just rlly wanted to see her 

 

purestbab: I JUST LOST 10 YEARS OF MY LIFE 

 

actualmom: me with all of you 

 

actualmom: except youngjae 

 

purestbab: bring her here im too mad to leave 

 

americanboi: ok be there in 5 

 

actualdad: this all happened in 8 min 

 

actualdad: why 

 

actualmom: don’t question it babe 

 

memekingbambam: oh man i might be sick 

 

actualmom: good 

 

thiccthighs: BC UR NEVER HEALTHY 

 

thiccthighs: U NEVER EAT UR VEGGIES 

 

thiccthighs: OR EAT ANYTHING ORGANIC 

 

thiccthighs: ALL U EAT IS INSTANT RAMEN 

 

memekingbambam: IM FUCKING BROKE JACKSON 

 

thiccthighs: THERES TREES OUTSIDE UR DORM GO EAT UR VEGGIES 

 

memekingbambam: ILL GET A GODDAMN DISEASE IF I DO THAT 

 

actualmom: good 

 

*** 

 

memekingbambam: yugyeom go pick up medicine for me 

 

75%legg: cant 

 

memekingbambam: and y the fuck not? 

 

memekingbambam: ur best friend is dying 

 

75%legg: im hanging with a friend 

 

thiccthighs: who 

 

75%legg: jungkookie 

 

memekingbambam: ur letting me die to get some dick??? 

 

memekingbambam: i thought we were more than that 

 

purestbab: ill get some medicine im walking coco rn 

 

memekingbambam: ty youngjae~~~~ 

 

memekinbambam: see someone c a r e s 

 

75%legg: im not getting dick wtf? 

 

memekingbambam: i cant even get dick bc im sickkkkkk 

 

actualmom: ur such a drama queen 

 

memekingbambam: says the one with an acting major 

 

actualmom: you got me there 

 

 

**[memekingbambam to gucciguccigucci]**

 

 

memekingbambam: waddup ho im being abandoned by my best friend for some dick so tell me whatever theyre doing im needy for gossip 

 

gucciguccigucci: yeah theyre playing overwatch rn 

 

memekingbambam: cant believe he chose jungkooks dick over me 

 

gucciguccigucci: dont slander yugkook like that u ho 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finished 4 out of 5 finals, 3 were today :) i know i got 100 on one of them so we gucci. the ones i thought were gonna be hard turned out to be easy and vice versa????? wild  
> the editing for this was a bitch bc the html was fucking up smh  
> twt bc i need validation but u cant tell it's me: _Hobihope_


	6. jungkook ships yoonseok owo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> owowow whats this an update?

**[group of gays]**

 

 

teatea: YALL I HAVE SO MUCH TEA ON YUGKOOK

 

teatea: GOD IM CRYING IT’S ALL IN MY PHONE NOTES

 

sun: the practice was for an hour how did you get so much tea

 

teatea: theres always good content around if you pay attention hyung

 

sun: mm alright

 

chimmychimchim: b4 i die, i would just like to thank yugkook for being alive and well and also for killing me

 

alberteinsstien: im a ta in one of yugyeom’s classes

 

teatea: whAT??

 

teatea: dONT TRY AND GET IN THE WAY OF YUGKOOK YOU HOMEWRECKER

 

teatea: YOURE A TAKEN MAN

 

alberteinstien: he just takes psych?

 

sun: yugyeom takes psych?

 

musclebunny: yeah he said it sounded interesting and he likes it so far

 

teatea: _*eye emoji*_

 

40cmshoulders: do u have any classes with yugyeom, jungkook?

 

musclebunny: dance

 

no: of course

 

teatea: ANYWAYS back to what i was saying

 

teatea: who wants the tea

 

musclebunny: no

 

teatea: too bad

 

alberteinstien: maybe we should listen to jungkook for today

 

teatea: ????what????

 

teatea: but i must share the TEA

 

albereinstien: we are going to change the subject or else ill listen to one of your raps and give you a very precise critic about it

 

teatea: ..ok

 

chimmychimchim: wheres hoseok hyung

 

chimmychimchim: i told him to get my bio textbook

 

no: with me

 

chimmychimchim: why is he at your house

 

no: he’s not

 

chimmychimchim: ?????????

 

chimmychimchim: then where the fuck are u

 

no: im at 2seok’s place

 

no: except only one of them are here

 

mulsclebunny: hoseok hyung?

 

no: no, shin hoseok, the makeup brush hair one

 

no: of course it’s our hoseok who do you think

 

musclebunny: oh.. _*eye emoji*_

 

40cmshoulders: dont burn down the apartment i wont be able to pay for it if it does

 

musclebunny: what are they doing? 

 

40cmshoulders: hoseok wanted to bake cookies with yoongi

 

musclebunny: oh

 

 

**[muslcebunny to albertenstien]**

 

 

musclebunny: hyung

 

muslcebunny: do you think yoongi hyung likes hoseok hyung?

 

alberteinstien: no? yoongi’s like a rock

 

alberteinstien: known him for 8 years and never once has he gotten feelings for someone

 

musclebunny: oh…… i hope he likes hoseok though

 

alberteinstien: why?

 

musclebunny: theyre cute together

 

musclebunny: and hoseok hyung would treat yoongi hyung right

 

alberteinstien: mm, we can only hope though

 

musclebunny: and thanks for telling tae hyung to stop talking about me and yugyeomie

 

alberteinstien: no problem

 

alberteinstien: does it make you uncomfortable?

 

musclebunny: no… it just gets my hopes up

 

alberteinstien: oh? how so

 

musclebunny: it makes me think i have a chance with yugyeom when i clearly don’t

 

alberteinstien: ah

 

alberteinstien: i see

 

 

**[alberteinstien added teatea, chimmychimchim, 40cmshoulders, sun, and no to a groupchat]**

 

**[alberteinstien renamed the groupchat to yugkook]**

 

 

teatea: owo?? what’s this

 

no: please never do that

 

chimmychimchim: owo

 

teatea: owo

 

no: i hate you

 

sun: owo

 

no: not you though

 

alberteinstien: i know i told yall to stop with yugkook earlier but jungkook just told me it’s because it gets his hopes up so i made this to talk about yugkook

 

teatea: MOOD

 

teatea: anyways, as a summary: yugkook were making heart eyes, touching, arms over shoulder thing, basically spending every miNUTE TOGETHER

 

sun: i can vouch for that

 

chimmychimchim: me too!

 

40cmshoulders: i feel like we’re missing someone in this groupchat…

 

alberteinstien: babe we cant have jungkook in here

 

40cmshoulders: im not stupid shut up

 

teatea: BAM

 

 

**teatea added unknown to the groupchat]**

 

 

unknown: wa dd up

 

 

**[unknown changed his name to number1yugkookstan]**

 

 

teatea: um ho thats me

 

number1yugkookstan: well is ur user that

 

teatea: fight me

 

number1yugkookstan: right after yugkook becomes canon 

 

***

 

 

**[group of gays]**

 

 

40cmshoulders: heading to starbucks! anyone want anything

 

alberteinstien: can you get my reg drink?

 

40cmshoulders: yea got u babe

 

no: black coffee

 

40cmshoulders: u dont drink black coffee

 

no: i like my coffee like how i like my men

 

musclebunny: sweet and full of sunshine?

 

no: …

 

no: ur lucky ur too precious to beat up

 

40cmshoulders: im not getting u that drink edgelord

 

sun: matcha frap! 

 

sun: yoongi u should try it 

 

sun: it isnt too sweet

 

no: ill try it then

 

teatea: reg latte with 3 pumps of flan syrup, cinnamon dolce syrup and raspberry syrup, topped off with caramel whip and flan drizzle

 

40cmshoulders: nvm im taking any more orders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoongi's so soft for hobi but who isnt? yoonseok will play a role in getting yugkook real so.. *eye emoji*  
> come to my twt to yell at me pls i enjoy screaming: _Hobihope_


	7. now we have all the bois

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have not updated in a while and i am sorry

**[you fuckers (not youngjae)]**

 

 

thiccthighs: we should all go out for kbbq! itll be fun! 

 

actualmom: speaking of kbbq….

 

actualmom: you never took me out for meat

 

americanboi: it’s been 9 months?

 

thiccthighs: yeah!

 

actualmom: i didn’t carry you for 9 months to not repay me you little shit

 

thiccthighs: but im brokeeeeeee

 

actualmom: you took bambam out for meat 3 weeks ago

 

memekingbambam: don’t bring me into this wtf

 

memekingbambam: he just asked me if i wanted some and i said yeah

 

thiccthighs: bambam dont expose me

 

memekingbambam: oops

 

actualmom: you PROMISED to take me out for some meat 9 MONTHS AGO

 

thiccthighs: whats if jaebum gets mad bc im takin his bf out for meat?

 

actualdad: im not like that

 

actualdad: jackson you know this

 

actualmom: youre making excuses jackson

 

thiccthighs: fine im coming over to pick u up

 

actualmom: finally

 

***

 

thiccthighs: g u y s

 

thiccthighs: the waitress thought jinyoung n me were d a t i n g

 

memekingbambam: that’s hilarious

 

thiccthighs: wang gae park gae never ends

 

actualdad: stop trying to steal my boyfriend jackson

 

thiccthighs: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

memekingbambam: jackson you h om e wr e cker

 

actualmom: she just came back and got our order

 

actualmom: and then said “are you s u r e you aren’t dating?”

 

memekingbambam: l m a o

 

75%legg: big mood right there

 

actualmom: i told her i have a boyfriend and she looked at me like i was lying

 

actualmom: if i wanted to lie about dating jackson why would i say i have a boyfriend

 

actualmom: i would say i have a girlfriend

 

memekingbambam: the Straights™ r wild

 

thiccthighs: she keeps looking at us

 

thiccthighs: creepyyyyy

 

actualdad: babe im gonna take you there to do gross coupley shit

 

actualmom: yess

 

 

**[americanboi to memekingbambam]**

 

 

americanboi: it’s over

 

americanboi: jackson likes jinyoung

 

memekingbambam: ????w here

 

americanboi: he said wang gae park gae

 

memekingbambam: that’s literally dead

 

americanboi: so why did he bring it up

 

memekingbambam: probably bc of the situation rn

 

americanboi: im ruined

 

americanboi: the chances of u s is ruined

 

americanboi: rip markson 

 

memekingbambam: and you call m e dramatic

 

americanboi: jinyoung calls you that

 

memekingbambam: whatever

 

***

 

**[group of gays]**

 

 

actualmom: guys there are actual tears running down my face

 

75%legg: jinyoung having emotions? more likely than you think!

 

actualmom: shut it

 

actualdad: anyways story time

 

actualdad: me n jinyoung were out shopping for clothes n such

 

memekingbambam: domestic. i love it

 

actualdad: and im somewhat alone 

 

actualdad: so this girl walks up to me

 

actualdad: she looked nice, like she knew how to dress

 

actualdad: and started talking to me

 

thiccthighs: like flirting

 

actualdad: yea

 

actualdad: and she asked for my number

 

actualmom: and then I walked in

 

actualmom: cause im a petty bitch

 

actualmom: and she has the audacity to ask for MY number as well

 

actualmom: said she has a pretty friend i could date

 

memekingbambam: omg

 

memekingbambam: the Straights™ are so w i ld

 

actualmom: so ofc i wrap my arm around jaebum’s waist and kiss him on the cheek

 

memekingbambam: gross

 

75%legg: gross

 

purestbab: gross

 

actualmom: and say that he’s taken by m e and to back off

 

actualmom: her jaw dropped and we left

 

75%legg: the gays r back at it again

 

memekingbambam: u can do this wit jungkook

 

75%legg: he gets asked by so many girls!!!!!

 

75%legg: im worried he’ll say yes to one of em

 

memekingbambam: OWO??? whats this????

 

memekingbambam: yugie showing his love for kookie????

 

75%legg: yes, im incredibly gay for jungkook uwu

 

memekingbambam: uwu

 

75%legg: uwu

 

actualmom: i give you my story and you dont appreciate it

 

actualmom: i regret giving birth to you

 

americanboi: mustve been real easy to birth them bc ur asshole is already so huge bc of jaebum

 

actualmom: first of all,

 

actualmom: what the fuck

 

actualmom: second of all,

 

actualmom: why the fuck

 

actualmom: and third of all,

 

actualmom: what the fuck

 

***

 

purestbab: hey 

 

actualmom: hi

 

actualdad: hi

 

memekingbambam: aye yo wassup

 

75%legg: hello

 

americanboi: hi

 

thiccthighs: hi

 

purestbab: i want to make sure something…

 

purestbab: yugyeom likes jungkook

 

purestbab: but is too chicken to ask him out

 

75%legg: im not chicken

 

75%legg: i know he’ll say no and ill be sad and our friendship will be awkward and i dont want that so im avoiding all that by not asking him out in the first place

 

purestbab: yugyeom….

 

purestbab: that’s such a big lie to everyone and yourself

 

75%legg: wdym

 

 

**[yugkook]**

 

 

number1yugkookstan: _*screenshot*_

 

number1yugkookstan: why is he so stupid

 

number1yugkookstan: like i know he’s my best friend but

 

number1yugkookstan: why

 

teatea: that’s beautiful

 

40cmshoulders: hey bambam wanna add ur guys here? i assume they all like yugkook as well

 

number1yugkookstan: oh YEA

 

 

**[number1yugkookstan added unknown, unknown, unknown, unknown, and unknown to yugkook]**

 

**[unknown changed their name to number2yugkookstan]**

 

**[unknown changed their name to localyugkookdealer]**

 

**[unknown changed their name to yugkookisloveyugkookislife]**

 

**[unknown changed their name to getmysonaboyfriendnamedjeonjungkook]**

 

**[unknown changed their name to idontwantdrugsiwantyugkook]**

 

 

number2yugkookstan: yoyo it’s ya local china prince Jackson wang

 

localyugkookdealer: my name is mark and i can give u some yugkook goods

 

yugkookisloveyugkookislife: whats this?

 

number1yugkookstan: check the name youngjae

 

getmysonaboyfriendnamedjeonjungkook: god this groupchat is going to be so loud

 

idontwantdrugsiwantyugkook: dont be a stick in the mud jinyoung

 

getmysonaboyfriendnamedjeonjungkook: shut up jaebum

 

chimmychimchim: ALL THEIR NAMES HAVE YUGKOOK

 

chimmychimchim: THATS FRIEND GROUP GOALS RIGHT THERE

 

teatea: why cant our family be like that

 

getmysonaboyfriendnamejeonjungkook: u don’t want to be in this family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's so many bois! ill put the users just in case bc there's s o m a n y  
> bts: their users are the same  
> number1yugkookstan: bambam  
> number2yugkookstan: jackson  
> yugkookisloveyugkookislife: youngjae  
> localyugkookdealer: mark  
> getmysonaboyfriendnamedjeonjungkook: jinyoung  
> idontwantdrugsiwantyugkook: jaebum


	8. oh my god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school got me fucked up but here's an update!

**[group of gays]**

 

 

teatea: why the FUCK is their family more family than ours

 

musclebunny: who?

 

teatea: yugyeom’s

 

musclebunny: wdym

 

teatea: their NAMES

 

musclebunny: ???

 

chimmychimchim: they give each other the stupidest names n shit

 

chimmychimchim: like ours is basically our names 

 

teatea: what

 

40cmshoulders: yes bc that is EXACTLY what tae means!

 

40cmshoulders: ANYTHING else is just him saying nonsense!

 

teatea: OH

 

musclebunny: ok…

 

no: jinyoung says you dont wanna be like their family

 

teatea: y

 

no: probably bc theyre all crackheads 

 

musclebunny: yugyeom doesnt do drugs

 

no: it’s a term

 

sun: i wouldnt be surprised if jinyoung drank at least 2 glasses of wine a day

 

muslcebunny: wheres namjoon hyung

 

alberteinstien: here

 

musclebunny: is the studio open?

 

alberteinstien: im here so yes, what do you need?

 

musclebunny: i wanna record a cover

 

alberteinstien: k then get over here

 

teatea: why u wanna record a cover kookie

 

musclebunny: bc i want to

 

teatea: tell me

 

musclebunny: get off of my dick

 

teatea: fine

 

sun: yoongi i think you left your notebook here?

 

no: ah shit

 

no: that had my lyrics 

 

no: coming over rn 

 

sun: ok!

~

**[groups of gays]**

 

no: hey joon how do you tell when ur whipped for someone

 

alberteinstien: ?? idk 

 

40cmshoulders: just watch how joon acts to me

 

alberteinstein: ^

 

no: SHIT

 

no: I DIDN’T MEAN FOR IT TO SEND HERE

 

muslcebunny: _*eye emoji*_

 

 

**[muslcebunny to alberteinstien]**

 

 

musclebunny: HYUNG

 

alberteinstien: did you forget something? you just left

 

musclebunny: NO

 

musclebunny: im 100% sure yoongi hyung was talking about hoseok hyung

 

alberteinstien: uhhh u sure?

 

musclebunny: YES

 

musclebunny: and hoseok hyung is super nice to yoongi hyung too

 

muslcebunny: they should date

 

alberteinstien: are you invested in them?

 

musclebunny: yes

 

alberteinstien: what about you and yugyeom?

 

muslcebunny: i have no chance with him… and idk how relationships even work

 

alberteinstien: you have me and jin as a model 

 

musclebunny: yea but u guys have been dating since forever

 

musclebunny: how do relationships even start?

 

alberteinstien: hm… i dont remember actually

 

musclebunny: exactly

 

 

**[alberteinstien to no]**

 

 

alberteinstien: yoongi in our 8 years of knowing each other i know you probably don’t want to talk about it but please tell me the truth

 

no: ok

 

alberteinstien: u have feelings for hoseok?

 

no: oops i suddenly cant read

 

alberteinstien: hyunnnggggg

 

no: i dont have feelings

 

alberteinstien: yes you do you imbecile 

 

no: i do not

 

alberteinstien: remember that awkward time we had feelings for each other but not at the same time?

 

no: god don’t bring that up

 

no: but yes

 

alberteinstien: yea thank god it ended but it’s proof u have feelings

 

no: so whats ur point

 

alberteintien: u like hoseok n u cant hide it

 

no: i hate it when ur right

 

alberteinstien yeah i can tell

 

no: why are you asking me anyways?

 

alberteinstien: ill tell u later

 

no: excuse me

 

alberteinstien: you are excused 

~

**[group of gays]**

 

40cmshoulders: do u just love having a boyfriend

 

40cmshoulders: makes me nut but in a soft way

 

alberteinstien: i love you too babe

 

no: disgusting

 

chimmychimchim: i love having one too

 

musclebunny: W HAAT

 

musclebunny: HYUNG YOU HAVE A W HA T

 

chimmychimchim: boyfriend

 

teatea: told ya he’d be the last one to find out

 

musclebunny: whaA A 

 

musclebunny: YOU NEVER SEEM LIKE YOURE DATING

 

chimmychimchim: ??we??share??a??wholeass??bed??

 

musclebunny: I THOUGHT IT WAS BC WE’RE BROKE

 

teatea: nope just gay

 

sun: everyone found out and asked them b4 u kookie lmao

 

musclebunny: i cannot believe this

 

teatea: we made a bet to see who would find out last

 

chimmychimchim: and we both said you

 

 

**[musclebunny to alberteinstien]**

 

 

musclebunny: i cant believe all my friends are dating

 

musclebunny: u n seokjin hyung

 

musclebunny: yoongi and hoseok hyung (hopefully)

 

musclebunny: and now tae and jimin? 

 

musclebunny: :( 

 

alberteinstien: it’s ok jungkook

 

alberteinstien: youll get yugyeom one day

 

musclebunny: :( 

 

alberteinstien: dont be like that :(

 

musclebunny: but hyung he makes my heart go :( in a good way

 

alberteinstien: oh my god

 

musclebunny: everyone in a relationship just makes me want to have one with yugyeom

 

alberteinstien: oh my god

 

 

**[yugkook]**

 

 

alberteinstien: oh my god

 

teatea: what

 

alberteinstien: yoongi hoseok you guys have to fake date

 

sun: what?

 

no: what

 

number1yugkookstan: owo whats this

 

getmysonaboyfriendnamedjeonjungkook: i thought i told you to never use that face ever again

 

alberteinstien: when kook found out tae n jimin are dating he said all his friends in a relationship makes him want one with yugyeom

 

alberteinstien: and he thinks yoongi and hoseok should date

 

alberteinstien: so if you two fake date he’ll want to date yugyeom even more, thus getting the courage to ask him

 

number2yugkookstan: now THATS a plan

 

alberteinstien: jungkook said that yugyeom makes his heart go :( in a good way

 

teatea: oh my god

 

chimmychimchim: oh my god

 

number1yugkookstan: oh my god

 

number2yugkookstan: oh my god

 

sun: oh my god

 

yugkookisloveyugkookislife: oh my god

 

40cmshoulders: oh my god

 

localyugkookdealer: oh my god

 

no: oh my god

 

getmysonaboyfriendnamedjeonjungkook: oh my god

 

idontwantdrugsiwantyugkook: oh my god

 

alberteinstien: i know


	9. guess whos gay? this one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forget that this is a thing buTTTtTtTtTTt here's another chap i forget the plot line but let's roll with it

**[you fuckers (not youngjae)]**

 

 

75%legg: oh my GOD

 

75%legg: someone tell me why the FUCK he so cute

 

75%legg: this shouldn’t be legal

 

75%legg: im so GAY

 

purestbab: ask him out

 

75%legg: NO

 

memekingbambam: pussy boy

 

americanboi: i like how yugs didn’t even have to say his name but we Knew

 

thiccthighs: we been knew this entire time

 

actualmom: ask him out you bitch

 

75%legg: N O

 

actualdad: i asked jinyoung out u can ask jungkook out

 

75%legg: YOUVE KNOWN JINYOUNG FOR LIKE 5 MIL YEARS

 

actualmom: you forgot to call me hyung you lil bitch

 

75%legg: WHATEVER

 

purestbab: how hard is it to ask out jungkook? just go to him and say “do you want to go out with me?”

 

75%legg: theres like 15 million other factors efuihjdj

 

memekingbambam: u dumb shit

 

75%legg: just let me be a sad gay in peace

 

americanboi: nah dude theres only one room here for a sad gay

 

americanboi: n that aint gonna be u

 

purestbab: who’s the sad gay?

 

americanboi: take a guess

 

 

**[thiccthighs to memekingbambam]**

 

 

thiccthighs: mark’s gay?

 

memekingbambam: have u seen him

 

memekingbambam: biggest twink if i ever saw one

 

thiccthighs: oh..

 

memekingbambam: dude his sis is a hard core lesbian the gay gene is in his family somewhere

 

thicchthighs: u right

 

memekingbambam: y u askin

 

thiccthighs: didnt want to get my hopes up

 

memekingbambam: oh

 

thiccthighs: now i know he’s a twink i can finally go after that Thicc Ass

 

memekingbambam: pls never refer to mark as Thicc Ass ever again

 

thiccthighs: but am i wrong?

 

memekingbambam: yes

 

thiccthighs: how dare you

 

memekingbambam: you just told me you like mark n then refer him as Thicc Ass

 

memekingbambam: i have the right to be traumatized 

 

thiccthighs: drama queen

 

memekingbambam: excuse me

 

thiccthighs: u r excused

 

~

 

memekingbambam: ms keisha

 

75%legg: ms KEISHA

 

purestbab: o my fuckin god she fuckin dead

 

americanboi: adAM

 

thiccthighs: what the fuck richard

 

actualmom: shut the fuck up all of you

 

~

 

memekingbambam: lets make a story but only write one word each

 

memekingbambam: ill go first 

 

memekingbambam: yugyeom

 

purestbab: should

 

americanboi: ask

 

thiccthighs: jungkook 

 

actualdad: out

 

memekingbambam: because

 

purestbab: he

 

actualdad: needs

 

thiccthighs: to

 

americanboi: stop

 

memekingbambam: being

 

americanboi: a

 

actualmom: bitch

 

75%legg: ok rude

 

75%legg: and…. did you guess plan this out or smth

 

75%legg: bc im getting creeped out

 

actualmom: no it’s just we’re all tired about you lusting over jungkook but not doing anything

 

actualmom: you little bitch baby

 

75%legg: ok um excuse you

 

actualdad: just ask him out

 

75%legg: no 

 

actualmom: take initiative

 

75%legg: fuck u 

 

memekingbambam: if someone asks their close friend out will u

 

75%legg: um sure?

 

memekingbambam: ok

 

 

**[memekingbambam to americanboi]**

 

 

memekingbambam: thats ur cue fuck face

 

americanboi: shut the fuck up before i shove ur laptop up ur ass

 

memekingbambam: whoa there

 

 

**[memekingbambam to thiccthighs]**

 

 

memekingbambam: thats ur cue fuck face

 

thiccthighs: what

 

memekingbambam: look in the goddamn gc

 

thiccthighs: o dear

 

memekingbambam: im queer

 

thiccthighs: i thought ur supposed to say that im queer not u

 

memekingbambam: ye but i love me some good dick

 

thiccthighs: oh well ok

 

thiccthighs: pls dont send me that ever again

 

memekingbambam: only if u ask mark out

 

thiccthighs: alright u bitch baby

 

memekingbambam: come at me shit head

 

thiccthighs: IT’S SHA-FI

 

memekingbambam: ayeee

 

thiccthighs: ayeeeee

 

memekingbambam: ask out mark

 

thiccthighs: no

 

memekingbambam: dont u want #yugkook to be real??????????

 

thiccthighs: um me dating mark isnt gonna make #yugkook real

 

memekingbambam: diD YOU NOT READ THE GODDAMN GC

 

thiccthighs: YES I DID STOP YELLING AT ME

 

memekingbambam: ASK MARK OUT

 

thiccthighs: NO

 

thiccthighs: IT WONT MATTER ANYWAYS BC YOONGI N HOSEOK R GONNA FAKE DATE AND MAKE JUNGKOOK ASK YUGYEOM OUT

 

memekingbambam: YOONGI WOULD NEVER AGREE TO THAT

 

thiccthighs: BET

 

memekingbambam: BET

 

 

**[yugkook]**

 

 

number2yugkookstan: so yoongi hoseok

 

number2yugkookstan: r yall gonna fake date to make #yugkook real

 

number1yugkookstan: u lil fucker

 

alberteinstien: u guys should

 

 

**[number1yugkookstan to alberteinstien]**

 

 

number1yugkookstan: NO

 

number1yugkookstan: JACKSON NEEDS TO ASK MAKR OUT TO PRESSURE YUGYEOM INTO ASKING JUNGKOOK NOT THIS YOONGI HOSEOK THING

 

alberteinstien: how about… both of them doing this

 

number1yugkookstan: o yeah

 

 

**[memekingbambam to thiccthighs]**

 

 

memekingbambam: heheheheh

 

thiccthighs: ?

 

memekingbambam: hehehehehehehehehehehe

 

thiccthighs: what kind of crack r u smoking

 

memekingbambam: hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

 

 

**[yugkook]**

 

 

number1yugkookstan: actually u 2 should

 

number1yugkookstan: peer pressure jungkook

 

no: idk if hoseok is even comfortable with it

 

sun: i am! it’s going to be weird at first but anything to make #yugkook real

 

no: idk how to even date

 

40cmshoulders: call each other pet names n shit 

 

40cmshoulders: compliment each other constantly or whatever

 

40cmshoulders: act gross and cute

 

40cmshoulders: u only really need to act like this in the gc

 

sun: seems simple enough!

 

no: i guess so

 

40cmshoulders: nice

 

number1yugkookstan: should we also make the chances higher for #yugkook by having mark and jackson fake date

 

localyugkookdealer: what

 

40cmshoulders: hmm… u right

 

localyugkookdealer: what??

 

number2yugkookstan: uh

 

alberteinstien: whatever works

 

yugkookisloveyugkookislife: sounds good!

 

getmysonaboyfriendnamedjeonjungkook: mark ur gay ass will finally have a bf

 

localyugkookdealer: shut the fuck up jinyoung

 

number2yugkook: guys,,,,idk how to fake date

 

no: same

 

getmysonaboyfriendnamedjeonjungkook: whatever we’ll figure it out later 

 

40cmshoulders: who cares lets wing it

 

localyugkookdealer: thanks fucker

 

no: …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all of my vine quotes r in got7 ch bc their crackhead ass would uwu idk what even goes on in bts chap anymore theyre all tired of jungkook being a sad gay  
> jungkook: soft sad gay uwu everyone feels bad for and needs to help in order to live  
> yugyeom: sad gay that wont shut the fuck up about being a sad gay and everyone needs to help in order to be able to live a normal life without yugyeom yelling ab his crush

**Author's Note:**

> i swear i have a plot but im making it up as a i go. it's a mess i know


End file.
